{"id":1027,"date":"2011-08-23T20:07:10","date_gmt":"2011-08-23T17:07:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fuzzy-fish.com\/wordpress-he\/?p=1027"},"modified":"2021-03-02T18:12:41","modified_gmt":"2021-03-02T16:12:41","slug":"archtype-cafe-the-dead-martin-character-union-version","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.fuzzy-fish.com\/wordpress-he\/archives\/1027","title":{"rendered":"Archtype Cafe (the Dead Martin Character Union version)"},"content":{"rendered":"
Archtype Cafe (the Dead Martin Character Union version)<\/strong>
\n
\nTo the tune of "Archtype Cafe" by Talis Kimberley. Contains spoilers for ASOIAF up to and including Dance with Dragons.<\/em><\/p>\n

Rhaegar Targaryen said to Ned Stark,
\nAs they finished the wine they were drinking;
\n\u201cSeven know I\u2019m all for honor and trust,
\nBut Eddard, just what were you thinking?\u201d
\nNext table the Old Bear complained to his niece:
\nHow the Night\u2019s Watch had fallen since his day
\nAs the Dead Martin character union hooks up
\nDown Archetype Caf\u00e9 on Tuesday<\/p>\n

Lovely Lyanna insisted to Shae:
\nThe rebellion wasn\u2019t her doing
\nWhile next to them Lysa dramatically sighed
\nSaying love always brings you to ruin
\nMeanwhile Yigritte told in stunning detail
\nWhat she\u2019ll do once she caught Melisadre
\nAs the Dead Martin Characters union hooks up
\nDown Archetype Caf\u00e9 on Tuesday<\/p>\n

And Lord Tywin spat: \u201cfantasy writers!
\n\u201cThey\u2019ll cut off your nose or your hand or your cock
\nThey\u2019ll wave you goodbye
\nIn the blink of an eye
\nWhen they want to give readers a shock
\n\u201cThey\u2019ll tell you that Myca was no one,
\nDrogo was savage and Viserys mad
\nQhorin was boring and Aemon was ancient
\nAnd Syrio just can\u2019t be dead!<\/p>\n

Varamir Sixskins sat sharing a cup
\nWith a waiter who called himself Coldhands
\nDaeron was welcomed by Marillion
\nWho was one singer short of a whole band
\nOberyn sat mocking Gregor Clegane
\n\u201cIt was worth it, no matter what you say.\u201d
\nAs the Dead Martin Characters union hooks up
\nDown Archetype Caf\u00e9 on Tuesday<\/p>\n

And as Robert\u2019s boar came to the table
\nDown in the crowd they were muttering: \u201cnice!
\nHe challenges readers\u2019 perception to change
\nAnd we\u2019re the ones paying the price.\u201d
\nThey\u2019ll tell you the Northern Lords all had it coming
\nCat was annoying and Quentyn\u2019s a klutz
\nThat Robb lost a kingdom and Balon a crown
\nAnd Aerys, well, he was just nuts<\/p>\n

They\u2019ll tell you that Stannis was stubborn and Renly raised hell
\nThat Berric was creepy and that Joffrey was\u2026 well.
\nAnd the Dead Martin Characters union drinks long
\nTo the folly of story and cruelty of song
\nAnd if I didn\u2019t care about spoiling you all
\nI\u2019d book us all tables for Tuesday<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Archtype Cafe (the Dead Martin Character Union version) To the tune of "Archtype Cafe" by Talis Kimberley. Contains spoilers for ASOIAF up to and including Dance with Dragons. Rhaegar Targaryen said to Ned Stark,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[131,20,59],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.fuzzy-fish.com\/wordpress-he\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1027"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.fuzzy-fish.com\/wordpress-he\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.fuzzy-fish.com\/wordpress-he\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.fuzzy-fish.com\/wordpress-he\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.fuzzy-fish.com\/wordpress-he\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1027"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/www.fuzzy-fish.com\/wordpress-he\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1027\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1034,"href":"http:\/\/www.fuzzy-fish.com\/wordpress-he\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1027\/revisions\/1034"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.fuzzy-fish.com\/wordpress-he\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1027"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.fuzzy-fish.com\/wordpress-he\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1027"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.fuzzy-fish.com\/wordpress-he\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1027"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}