The last holyland charger
by Tamir Buchshtav
Based on "Last Saskatchewan Pirate" by the Arrogant Worms

I used to have a farmer and he made a living fine,
I had a little cart to pull along the city line,
But times where tough and though he tried,
The money wasn’t there.
The baron came and killed the man,
And sold me at the faire.

I looked for every kind of job, the answer’s always “no.
Buy you now?” they all would laugh. “We let our horses go.”
The butcher man, he paid for me a measly little sum,
But I’ve got to much pride to end up just another drum,

So I thought “who gives a damn if all the farmers’ down,
I’m gonna bear a knight and fight in service to the crown!”

Chorus:
Cause it’s a hee-ho hi-ho
Charging down the lane,
Killing all Saracens within the Holy Land,
And it’s a hee-hay hi-hay
Heathens bar your homes,
When you see an armored donkey ‘neath Jerusalem’s golden dome!

Charge!

Well, you think the local heathens would know that I’m around,
But just the other day I found an unprotected town,
I charged up down the middle, and they began to cower,
I torched the place and burned it and I caused them all to scatter.

A bridge that leads to Jordan spans the mighty river,
Heathens ride with so much fear their stomachs are a’quiver,
Cause they know that DONKEY KONG is waiting in the trees,
I’ll charge the bridge and kill them all ignoring all their pleas.

Chorus

Assassin Jobe, he chased me, he was always getting close,
He’d follow far behind me cause he didn’t own a horse,
But missionaries caught him, the assassin changed his robes,
And now he’s riding with us, and we call him Holy Jobe!

A swinging sword, a mounted lance and pleasant company,
I never have to pull a cart and screw the butchery (screw it!)
From Jaffa down to Jericho, the terror of the land,
And if you try to pass me you’ll be buried in the sand!

Chorus

Well, a charger’s life’s appealing, and the fighting’s always here,
I hear that in the desert the Saracen’s coming near,
They roam the barren wasteland down to Um Rashrash bay,
And they’re sure to get medieval if you have to pass theirway,

Well, winter is a’coming and they say crusades are out,
My charging days are over when our forces start to route,
I’ll be back the next time but now it’s time to go,
I hear there’s lots of fighting going on near Monaco.

Chorus X2