Fuzzy Fish

Dedicated to everyone out there who knows how hard it is to get a decent bra.
Tune: Catherine Faber's "Song of the Stars"

Some girls wear chain-mail and others wear brass,
Living their life by their sword and their… sass.
But I tell this lesson to all who might care:
While steel's fine for weapons, it doesn't make good underwear.

It clings to your skin on those cold winter nights
Draws leers, not respect, from those warrior knights.
For all you girls seeking a cool geeky man,
Try on my bras, and you'll be as sci-fi as you can!

Gravity free helium padding,
Womanly curves, comfortably placed –
Did I mention it's good for your spine?

It had scared my professors to see what I made,
But I couldn't resist it for all they had said.
It had no potential, it never could sell;
But all of their warnings were shushed by the freedom's sweet bell.

For I've seen women wearing contraptions so cruel
Torquemada would look like a pacifist fool.
Interfering with ladies' genetic design,
And I feel their pain, just as surely as once I felt mine.

Gravity…

And now all you women can be free at last,
Earth's gravity being a thing of the past.
My bras hold the secret to life free from care:
You'll live in the clouds, your breasts floating, lighter than air.