Fuzzy Fish

by Tamir Buchshtav
based on "Archetype Café", by Talis Kimberley

Archetype Café – After Hours

Crafty old Set said to Satan the Horned
When they happened to meet in the middle
“My friend I don’t blame you for starting that war,
For you never should play second fiddle”
Satan replied, in his thundering voice
“Telling Michael was folly, in hindsight”
And the Evil Divinities’ Brotherhood meets
Down Archetype Café at midnight.

Ahriman said, to the kingslaying Set,
“The deserts are spreading, my brother”
Then went on to say, in annoying detail
How he planned to make everyone suffer
Hati and Skoll fought Rahi and Apep
Over who would devour the sunlight
And the Evil Divinities’ Brotherhood meets,
Down Archetype Café at midnight

And the black giant Surt chaired the meeting,
Gesturing wide with his great flaming blade
He claimed that the difference that stood between evil and good
Was in who wrote the songs in the end
For they’ll tell you Cernunnos is Satan
They’ll tell you that Set killed Osiris from hate
They’ll show you a line in a scroll
About Lucifer’s fall
And of Loki imprisoned and chained.

Cthulhu stayed near the espresso machine,
For he always had trouble with waking
Black Lilith was braiding Lamashtu’s dark hair
While the Great Old One’s talons were shaking
Iblis held court for his numerous jinn
Surt and Ahriman started a sword fight
And the Evil Divinities’ Brotherhood meets,
Down Archetype Café at midnight

And when Surtur the Black thanked the speakers,
The challenges rang from the floor
“We know that we lost to our enemies ages ago
And we’ll stay villains eons and more!”
For they’ll tell you that Set killed Osiris
Cthulhu devours, and Ahriman kills
They’ll tell you that Kali is vengeance,
Iblis the Devil, and Lilith his consort in sin

They’ll tell you that Fenrir eats Odin, Apep eats the sun
Cthulhu waits dreaming and Loki’s just fun
And the Evil Divinities Brotherhood stands
Gainst the lies of the gods and the sheep that are men
But if I knew where Archetype Café was now,
I still wouldn’t go there at midnight.