Flee the Light of Holy Java
אוקטובר 20th, 2008 by 
Dana
Inspired by a moment in the Mage campaign my brother was running — admittedly, it ended up differently (and also included a moment where the vampire told me his age in hexadecimal), but… well.
Tune: "Glory Glory Hallelujah"
I am but a simple programmer, with logic to my mind,
So when I looked back as I walked, I never thought to find
A vampire a-stalkin' me, and closing up behind
To come and suck my blood!
But…
On my Palm there's Holy Java,
Glory to the Holy Java,
With the use of Holy Java
The vampire will be mud!
For my eyes have seen the glory of the Holy Java's light,
So high and white and blinding to my plain old mortal sight
That a vampire who sees it must be overwhelmed with fright
And shortly run away!
I said…
"Flee the light of Holy Java!
Flee the light Holy Java…
Flee the light of Holy Java?"
Alas, the vampire stayed.
The vampire so scornful said, "You thought that I would run?
To scare me with this Java – pah! It isn't even Sun!
You foolish mortal, you don't know your torment's just begun,
And Java's not that good."
So…
I couldn't use the Holy Java,
Wasn't helped by Holy Java,
And without the help of Holy Java –
Holy C! I'm vampire food!
This was my final lesson, which I have arrived to teach
To all ye schoolboy programmers, who Java's praises preach
Don't tell me, "Java's great and I'm not listening to your speach!"
For I know more than you.
For
I put my faith in Holy Java,
Trusted in the Holy Java,
And for all the grace of that damned Java –
I'm now a vampire, too.
And let's not even mention Visual Basic, shall we?
Posted in דנה כץ-בוכשטב, מחשבים, משחקי תפקידים | 
No Comments »