Fuzzy Fish

to the tune of "Re: Your Brains" by Jonathan Coulton

Hey you guys, it's Bob, from the plumbers down the street,
I'm replacing Mario today.
Things were going pretty well except that you're attacking me,
And I'm not getting hazard pay.
I think I'm being reasonable when I'm landing on your shell,
Cause while I don't want to hurt you I don't see this ending well.
I don't want to be a jerk,
So if you'd just let me work, really…

Chorus:
All I want to do is fix your drains,
I'm not a fighting man, fire flowers ain't my style.
All I want to do is fix your drains,
What do those mushroom mean? This could really take a while.
If you stop attacking me, I'll just come inside and fix your drains.

I don't want to nitpick guys, but what are you fighting for?
Don't you know the princess isn't here?
They say she's in another castle, maybe you should all go there and guard,
And let me get back to my beer.
I'm not surprised to see you guys protecting empty rooms,
This is how you get from eating neon colored shrooms.
So don't buy into this hype, just let me do some pipe fixin'…

Chorus

I'd like to help you guys, in clearing up your sink,
I don't appreciate the way you're all against me,
I'm just a plumber, there's no reason to get mad,
Please don't get mad.

Called my boss again today, maybe he could switch me out,
But all I heard was static hiss.
Meanwhile I'll be picking up those gold coins that are lying on the floor,
Why are you leaving them like this?
I know perhaps I shouldn't judge you, but I'm thinking still,
Turtles aren't really known for their strategic skills,
You build pipes too wide, you see -
Why is this one sucking me inwards…

chorus