Fuzzy Fish

Monkeys don’t do those things
by Tamir Buchshtav
based on "Ladies don't do those things" by Escape Key

I was born in a cave as my clan used to be
And I’d never look more then a caveman to thee
Cause humans in my time were weaklings and prey
But progress’ the power that would win us the day
It was back in our first cave it came to a head
When a few proto-tigers would prey on our band
But its life that we want and to spread on the world
I heard my sons then saying:
“Monkeys don’t do those things”
Oh no they don’t but then torch-bearers do
Stay safe in your cave until I come for you
And when I came back from the mountains of flame
You never once though to get over your shame
What your brains can do you never knew

The years passed on by, we came to a new cave
Running fast from a blaze so our lives would be saved
Evolution is fast, we cannot sit and snooze
An invention I had then was worthy to use
When I showed my sons how to use the new bow
To kill dear from further then stones we can throw
The men in my family were scared and appalled
And spattered and stalled saying:
“Monkeys don’t do those things”
Oh no they don’t but then hunting man can
And the world that’s around us will fall to our hands
Well you never resented the dinners I caught
I suppose you’d have rather been starving then not
You monkeys can turn into men.

Sons, you see now and then as the years pass on by
My inventions can fail, then in outrage you cry
But progress s here and to stop it you can’t
Don’t think I don’t know that my death you have planned
When you and the clan came to me in the hunt
To kill me and ear me and stop what you shunned
Well, know when you do that your planning has failed
I’m haunting you now saying:
“Monkeys can do those things”
Oh yes the can evolution is here
And killing one man will not stop it, you hear?
Another will come and continue my work
Inventing the wheel and the steel and the spork
Don’t sit on your laurels to long